Disast-hair!

It was one of those days...you know the sort...you wake up with the laptop whirring gently beneath your chin where you have clearly fallen asleep mid Facebook stalk; the caps lock key imprinted firmly on your temple, your toothpaste falls off the brush - twice - before you make the heinous mistake of using hairspray instead of deodorant and have to start all over again. Cut to...doing your makeup in the car because you've been sitting in a queue of traffic for twenty minutes and are going to be late - might as well make an entrance!

The previous week, I had been in London for a short trip (Landahn baby, innit!) so I was already a week behind and desperate to catch up on my blow drying skills. I've never actually blow-dried someone else's hair before, and I can instinctively sense that today is not the best day to be trying it out, so on arrival ("sorry I'm late, Miss"), I grabbed a tuition head, quickly discarding some of the 'interesting' cuts, colours and weaves of the other dolls before settling on a shoulder length brunette with stunning cheekbones (who can resist?). I set up my station, and take my client (let's call her Belinda) to the sink areas.

Belinda is tall. Very tall. Her stand is making her tower over the sinks in a way that I can tell will soak the entire vicinity before I'm even finished rinsing, so I swap stands with the lovely Jan from the HNC class. Excellent, I'm ready to start. I turn on the taps and let the water run to check the temperature - it's not particularly warm, so I let it run a bit longer. If anything, it's now getting colder so I decide to get on with it before anything else has the chance to go wrong! On we go with the shampoo, using effleurage massage techniques (slow, downward movements) to avoid tangles and evenly distribute the products. Rinse. Belinda's hair is feeling a bit coarse, but it's only the first shampoo, so adding another dollop, I repeat, casually asking my colleague Euan if it was supposed to feel like this. Apparently, last week some of the tuition heads had been a bit tangled, so he advised me to use plenty of serum when I'm done to smooth it out. During this time, Belinda's head has come flying off the stand and landed in the sink on more than one occasion - I'm hoping that doesn't happen in real life, but at this stage, I'm not so sure!

Okay, so I've conditioned her hair and have looked out some smoothing serum to save the day. Wrapping her hair in a towel, I take Belinda to my work station and reveal my first shampoo. Disast-hair! The hair is so matted, that even the towel is sticking to it!

I immediately call on Elaine for some expert advise, who recommends "a leave-in conditioner and a lot of combing!" Cut to...me, over an hour later, still spritzing and combing through this mass of tugs. Tea break comes and goes but determination / stubbornness has kicked in and I WILL NOT LET THIS GET THE BETTER OF ME! Eventually, after much perseverance and the near onset of tears (mine, not Belinda's), I'm done. Belinda's hair is smooth and tangle free. And bone dry. It's taken me so long to get the knots out, her hair has dried - so much for a wet set! How am I supposed to practice a wash and blow dry in these situations?!! AAAaaaarrgghh!

So, I'm off with the water spritzer like an oasis in the desert until her hair is practically dripping - I am FINALLY ready to blow dry.

By this stage, the lovely Jan has asked to swap back our stands and I'm happy to oblige, one stage closer to conquering my Everest. That is until I aim the hairdryer at the nape of Belinda's neck to begin drying, and her head spins 360 degrees; hair flying everywhere and soaking everything in the process like a wet dog coming in from the rain. Now, trust me Belinda, I know exactly how you feel at this point - clearly some sort of poltergeist is trying to take over my thoughts too right now as I do everything within my power to refrain from screaming, crying or wrenching your head off the stand and flinging it as far across the room as possible. However, Belinda, I must fight it. I must remain professional and I must breathe.

I sort of fix her in a 'headlock' position (please note, I WILL NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, nor should anyone reading this blog - this is purely for my entertainment / sanity) and complete the blow dry. I even manage to run the straighteners through her hair, and I have to say - despite the universe's greater powers, I'm very pleased with how it turned out! Now, I'm aware that a shampoo and blow dry with a rummel ow'r wi yon straighteners isn't breaking any huge styling records, but this is quite possibly my biggest achievement at college to date, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

 

Belinda, you've done me proud. Now, who wants to be my first real client?...